I went on an OkCupid date and I think my date got shot by a Cupid arrow big-time!
The date was fun, we got along pretty well, I thought he was sweet. When the date ended, he kissed me. Usually, I don’t kiss someone right away but it just happened. At first, I thought it wasn’t a big deal but then he got even more touchy, those kind of sweet gestures a boyfriend usually does–touching my hand, playing with my hair. I kept trying to shrug him off but he’d just smile and give me a squeeze.
The next day, he was texting me and telling me how much he loved our date and that he wanted us to just date each other because it was the best date he’d had since being online.
I like the guy but I don’t feel comfortable with how fast he’s moving. Not sure what to do.
Back Off Cupid in Torrance, CA
Dear Back Off Cupid,
Sounds like he went from zero to 60, trying to turn a first date into an exclusive relationship… no wonder you’re wanting to put the breaks on.
First, if you really do like him and want to give him a second chance, tell him (not text him), that you did enjoy the date and thought he was sweet but that you’d need to get to know each other a lot more before agreeing to become exclusive. Tell him that you normally don’t kiss someone on the first day and apologize if it gave him the wrong impression then wait and listen to what he says.
Remember, this is YOUR life, you do NOT owe any date your time, attention and love.
If he apologizes and says he understands and would like to see you again, make sure your second date is still at a public place and that you drive yourself. I’m saying this because he could either be extremely inexperienced at dating, a bit immature and simply got carried away by his attraction to you… OR, he could be needy and manipulative and ultimately, possessive and controlling. It really could go both ways.
If he gets belligerent and tries to argue you into dating him, block his number and his profile and make sure you have friends or family who knows his face, his name and his cell phone number. Always make sure someone you know has this information BEFORE you go out on a date… these days, you can’t be too careful!
Not sure how young he is. If he’s really young, he’s more likely to be a naive guy, but if he’s older, he’s very likely to be needy and impulsive to the point that he’s desperate and doesn’t have the maturity or patience to engage in a healthy, reasonably-paced relationship.
Either way, it’s your life and your call, but be careful of falling for words that create the illusion of you being a couple when the time and the effort has not earned him the right to ask you to be his steady girlfriend.
Trust your instincts!