I’m stuck in the middle of two men and I don’t know where to begin. Those songs “Stuck in the Middle,” “Caught in the Crossfire,” and “Torn Between Two Lovers,” all come to mind.
Here’s my dilemma… I have two lovers—one I’ve been dating a year and the other is a rekindled relationship from years ago that’s just begun again. I’m not sure where either is going or what the future holds, but for now I’m conflicted about my feelings and what is the right thing to do? I don’t want to hurt either guy. I have strong feelings for both, and they both say they have strong feelings for me.
I believe it’s possible to be in love with more than one person, but I also realize it’s not fair since they don’t know about each other.
I may end up losing both guys. Right now, I’m just enjoying the fulfillment that each brings, as they both fulfill me in different ways.
If I could merge the best of both men, I’d have the perfect man. What would you advise me to do?
—Stuck in the Middle
Dear Stuck in the Middle,
What a pickle you have got yourself in and you’re also acting selfishly.
First, you’re putting yourself and your partners at risk for sexual diseases, another topic! That aside, have you looked at the fear of intimacy that could be adding to your confusion… what was happening with the year-old relationship that you even have an “open door policy” to let the other one in?! I would seriously look at why you felt the need to create distance.
By going out with two men… no matter how good it feels… you cannot be present for both. Listen up! We as women are not made that way. We are MADE for monogamy and commitment. We are emotionally based, and if you continue to play this game—you will be the one to lose!
Distractions create pain. You are in a little drama… and that always causes trauma. I suggest YOU step back… take time for you… detox yourself from BOTH men… get back into your feminine energy… and decide what is really important to you. And next time, if a relationship isn’t working out for you, have the courage to end it and begin anew with someone more suitable.
Listen to your inner voice… it’ll try really hard to get you to listen to its good advice! The way you’re headed, it’s just a matter of time before three more people are saying relationships don’t work.