You are, most likely, the guy that your wife’s mother warned her about when she first started dating—and now she has gone and married you. Besides that, her brother might wish she had married his best friend who she dated in high school and her dad was hoping she’d marry the banker’s son.
Perhaps this is not the most ideal situation from which to launch a warm and fuzzy relationship with your in-laws, so you may have some work to do.
In-Law Philosophy 101
Here is a little homespun philosophy for getting along with your in-laws:
• Marrying into a family is similar to living in northern Minnesota in the wintertime, where there is snow on the ground from October to April, the temperature is routinely below zero, and ice is three feet thick on the lakes. You can sit around and complain about how miserable the winter is, or you can embrace it and get out and enjoy all that the winter has to offer.
Interpretation: Embrace her family and become a bona fide part of it rather than sitting around and complaining about what a miserable bunch they are. Even if they are a miserable bunch, you’ll probably only see them a few times a year, so think positive and make the best of it.
• Realize that your wife’s parents, siblings, and other relatives are most likely very important to her. They are where she came from and she is an extension of them. So, if you find fault with them, you are, in essence, also finding fault with your wife. For instance, if you call her mother a bitch, you are indirectly also calling your wife a bitch.
• Do not even consider borrowing money from any of your in-laws, even if they suggest it. If, by some miracle, that which you borrowed money to invest in becomes a success, they will never let you forget that without their help this would have never happened. Worse yet, if you are unable to repay the money, it will only prove to them that you are the loser that they always suspected.
Congratulations, you not only have a new wife but you also have a new family. Give it a chance–who knows, maybe they’ll even come to like you, eventually.