Dear Ethel-Mae,

I suspect my wife has been having an affair and have confronted her more than once. She persists in saying it’s not so. Her behavior over the last year has changed considerably. I admit that I was always wanting to know her whereabouts—because of the kids—but I’m trying hard to give her the space she seems to need.

She goes out at least two to three times a week with her girlfriends. She works for an ad agency so she also goes to a lot of functions. I usually stay home with our children those nights as she says she needs to focus on her job at those events. An acquaintance recently told me that he’s seen her flirting heavily at social functions. She denies it or she’ll say she’s just extroverted and that flirting is just giving attention without intention.

I’ve told her that she’s acting more like a party girl than a wife or mother. She reacts by saying that we married too young and that she deserves some fun time. I try not to state the obvious that I was young, too.

We have young children and several years invested. What are the signs of an affair? I have tried to take her on her word of honor but I’m beginning to feel like the gullible husband. What should I do next? I want our marriage to work.

—Not Trusting Much Longer

Dear Not Trusting Much Longer

 

Ethel-Mae